Thursday, July 31, 2008

True Love

I wish I could describe how God has been internally changing me. I've been praying to be able to live by the Spirit.. to be confident in my salvation.. to worry less and love more. And, man.. has God been answering my prayers in incredible ways. I don't think I've ever felt more on fire. More alive. It's a beautiful thing to realize that I don't have to try to be perfect.. and to really feel that God loves me even when I mess up... or especially when I mess up. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 tells us that God's grace is enough for us! And that his power is made perfect in our weakness. Paul then says that he is content with his weaknesses and hardships and trials. "For when I am weak, I am strong". I have only recently began to really understand what he meant by that. I only pray that it continues and grows. God is so good.. I can't say it enough.

So this has been a pretty busy summer for me. A week in Mexico, and then straight to Oklahoma to spend time with an amazing family I know, and also to work at a camp there. 2 days after I got back to California, I drove up with a friend to Tahoe for the annual Tahoe Family Encampment.



It's a beautiful place(this is a picture of a waterfall we spent an afternoon at) and I had a really good time but I was so burnt out that I came back early to have some time alone. I spent some time outside in the hammock.. looking up at the trees and talking to God.. praying about the future.. about the unknown.. It's been splendid.





In one of my previous posts, I talked about a homeless man named Chips that I've grown to care for. My first day back, in between Oklahoma and Tahoe I saw him at the Salvation Army. He was sitting on a couch by the door with a smile on his face. In my overwhelming busy state I almost didn't stop to talk to him, but boy was I glad I did. He told me that he hasn't been by the House in a while.. that he had been in the hospital. He apparently had several minor strokes in a short time and had lost a lot of weight. I was amazed to see him doing so well and remaining so positive after going through something like that. I was happy to run into him since I'm not sure when I will see him again. That's been the hardest part about the ministry. I'm not sure when I will see some of them next. It may be days or months and even some I may never see again. Their lives are ever-changing and so is mine, but the beautiful thing is that lives are being touched.. mine, and I hope also theirs. God is constantly touching my heart with the people around me. I used to question God about why he didn't show himself to me personally.. why he didn't speak to me in a booming voice or come to me in a vision.... and it's been hitting me hard that He does, every single day, using the people in my life. He uses them to comfort me, to encourage me, to teach me lessons about love and patience and kindness. He uses them to show me himself, and it's beautiful.

I thank God for all that he's been teaching me, and all he's been doing for me, and I hope he continues to bless me, and all of you, as well!