A new day

I was sitting on my couch the other night... enjoying a nice candlelit evening with my roommates (sounds a little weird, I know..) It was around midnight when Jon walked in with Kelli- they had been hanging out- and 2 strange figures... one much shorter than the other. It was dark and I was really confused, wondering who these crazy people Jon had brought with him, and then he turned the light on. I was pretty shocked and very, very happy to see my sister and my niece... who should have been 3000 miles across the country... standing in the doorway. I jumped, I cried, I smiled from ear to ear, and I almost fainted with delight. It was just what I needed. It was common knowledge to everyone else in my life that they would be there... but I had no clue. They only stayed for a few days, but it was pretty special. I got to show them a little bit of the town and some of what I've been doing here. It was just really encouraging to have family here... there was a sense of relief and comfort I haven't really felt in a long time. I was sad to send them off on Monday, but excited because I get to go home next week. I will be with my family for two whole weeks.... and this couldn't be a more perfect time to go. Things are kind of rough back home- with the house having major water damage, and not being able to have a real traditional Christmas because of it, and my oldest sister moving to Germany soon, and Sue being sick. I have been homesick for a while and I am really looking forward to being with my loved ones again. I will have to make the best of it knowing that it will most likely be a while before I will be able to be home with them again.

It was really nice to have Mary and Kiera around for some of the things we had going on. They got to be here for game night, and then we had a ladie's day on Saturday and that night 2 of the younger girls stayed over. My niece, Kiera got along with them really well and they had a lot of fun together. I'm hoping one day to convince my sister to move out here and join the work that's going on.




It's been intense here lately. A lot of small issues being turned into large ones. mostly coming from feelings of being useless. It's been tough some days knowing that there are so many things that we could be doing that we aren't. So we decided that we need to just make things happen.. no more waiting around for things to come to us. So we did. We got applications for the Big Brother/Big sister program, and also for a food ministry that is literally yards from our house. We also got in touch with a house here that takes in the homeless during the day and brings them to different churches each night to get out of the cold. Jo and I went today and spent the day getting to know the job and the people there. Our biggest work is to spend time with the people that come there. There was a family there that we had helped in the past, by bringing them food at another place they were staying. It was a really pleasant surprise to see them there. Just the other day we went by where they used to stay to see them and they weren't there.. and we had no way of finding them. They have a 13 year old son, and we got to spend some time catching up with them. I think I had forgotten how important it is to put other people before myself. For a little while I was getting really caught up in team drama, and my own little dramas that I was losing what I was really here for. It was nice to be reminded of the important things in life. It's amazing how God opens our eyes sometimes, whether we are asking for it or not. He has really been showing me a lot lately, and I'm looking forward to see what happens in the future here.

So, we've been trying to keep busy here. It's tough sometimes since our car still isn't fixed, but with Jon's car we manage. This past weekend we had our college retreat. It was really good. I got to spend time with people that I've really been wanting to get to know better... so that's always good.

I've been praying for God to give me opportunities here, and He's really been answering them. I went this morning with a friend to spend time with some ladies she works with. None of them are Christians, but they're pretty open to the idea. They usually get some food and then take a walk on the trails by Empire Mines. I had some good conversations with some of them, and I plan on tagging along the next time they get together.

I'm also going with Jon to a Bible study he goes to every week in Citrus Heights. It will be nice to spend time with people other than the team... and the church here. Not that I don't love spending time with all of them, but I've really been feeling the need to branch out more, so it will be nice.

Hopefully this week we will stay pretty busy... God will open doors for us, as long as we ask.

A little update.

So things here have been all right.

California rocks my socks.

It's been challenging lately. I feel like I haven't been able to connect with certain people and there are some problems within the team. Silly things that we need to get over. Other than that things are well. I was having a tough few days, but as I was driving today I decided to shut off my music and talk to God instead. It was pretty amazing. Sometimes I forget that God just wants me to talk to Him, even if I don't have something specific to say. I just have to remember why I'm here, and focus on that. I'm not here for my team (although they are my support system) and I am definitely not here for myself (although I am growing and changing throughout this process)... but I am here for God, and for others. Although I've been feeling somewhat ineffective lately... I've been able to see lives we've affected, even in small ways. I just need to keep my eyes on what's important, and remember that I'm not here for myself.

Beautifully Flawed.

So I decided I hadn't spent real time with God in a while... so I lit some candles and turned off the lights and lay on the floor.

I have been so humbled lately. God does so much for me and sometimes all I can do is complain and ask for more. I have more than what I need. Much more. I have been blessed with an amazing team, and recently a car to drive and a house to live in. I've been blessed with a beautiful church family and an amazing opportunity to serve Him. Why would I want anything else? I can't believe how much my life has changed since I've been here. I already feel as though God has done so much for me, yet I know He's going to do so much more.

I have really been asking God to show me how to understand His love, and He's opened my eyes in such a way I never imagined. I am, for the first time in my life, really feeling loved by God. I have been able to truly love those around me, knowing that if I can't love the people around me, then how can I claim to love God? People are God... he lives in us. By hating others I hate God. It's such a beautiful thing. Love is not a feeling. Love is a choice. An action. Love is creation. Love is the Cross. Love is everything in between.

Love just is.

We are a flawed people, and God knew when He created man that most of humanity at one point or another would turn against Him. He created us anyway because He desired to be loved in return. He took the biggest risk, knowing what people would do to him. I can't say I would have done the same. The least I can do is try my hardest, every single day, to love the way He loves me.

That's all He asks, really.