What is love? (baby, don't hurt me)

A lot has happened since my last post! It seems like as soon we feel like things are going well, it all has to change. Things can't always work out the way we desire, I suppose. If things were perfect here than we wouldn't need to be here at all.

A good friend here was saying how he believes that we are here on this earth because of love. God is love, right? And we were created in his image.... well, what is love? 1 Cor 13 will give us a list. And many other places in the Bible talks about love as well... but specifically in 1 Cor we see that love is patient and kind and not rude or self-seeking.... how would we ever learn those things if we were never in a place that has time, or boundaries, or pain. If we were just created to be with God in Heaven and skipped this whole Earth thing, then we would never truly known and understand what his love for us really is. We would just be in this amazing place and not even appreciate it because we never suffered or felt pain or loved someone or needed God. He wants us to really know and feel and understand his love, and he wants us to teach it to everyone we encounter. It's a really beautiful concept if you sit and think about it for a while.

I've been thinking a lot about love lately, in every aspect. How to love someone who's wronged me. How to love my team. How to love the unlovables of this world. How God may or may not bless me with a spouse one day. It can all be very overwhelming at times... especially because the world has really twisted the meaning of the word love.
For example: A situation has come up recently that a person very close to me has been sinning against me in secret. It's been going on for a long time, and was found out on accident. The world would teach me to be angry and upset... to victimize myself and to make this person feel guilty and wrong and bad about themselves. And honestly, part of me wanted to.. a big part of me. But God teaches me to regard this person as family, help them to see they have a sin problem and love them despite the fact that I've been hurt. God loves this person, so incredibly much, it's the sin that he despises. Who am I, as a sinner, to hate this person for that when God loves ME so much as well.
I'm not saying that I wasn't hurt, and even angry at some points, but I know how important it is to fight to be loving... which isn't only an emotion, but mostly based on actions. I definitely think the 2 go hand-in-hand when it comes to love. We can say we feel love but if our actions don't show it then we aren't being loving. We can show it in our actions but not feel it at all in our hearts... which I don't think is wrong, necessarily but I don't think it's complete either. I still haven't figured it all out yet, but then, I don't think I ever will. The best I can do is strive to learn as much as I can before I leave this place.

I have been put in situations recently that I wouldn't have been able to handle the way I have been if it weren't for the things God has been showing me. I wonder how I would have reacted just a few short months ago, and I think the outcome would be very different. God tends to do that sometimes, doesn't he? I need to remember that I am continually learning new things and in no way should I ever feel I know enough.

We've been spending a lot of time with the homeless lately, and I feel like I have allowed myself to be filled with a feeling of contentment over that. Maybe a little bit pride as well. I don't want to ever feel like what I am doing is enough. I want to always be looking for opportunities and always be striving to serve more. I think I often get my fill of "good deeds" for a day and then settle back a little bit and miss opportunities because I'm too busy being proud of myself. I think some days I need God to shake me a little bit and remind me that there can ALWAYS be MORE done in this world. I've been praying for God to use me and shake up my world a bit and make me uncomfortable in my serving. It's a hard thing to ask and some days I'm not even sure if I'd be willing to to listen if he showed me, but I am hoping that I can ignore my selfishness and do what needs to be done.

I have a feeling that God is going to answer my prayers in some pretty strange ways.

I'm looking forward to it.