"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God, and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus"

Paul goes on after this to talk about all the things we need to focus on in order to feel the peace he is talking about here. It's spelled out so plainly, so simply. Then why is it so hard to find this peace in our daily lives? I have been thinking about these verses for days now. Striving to rejoice and let this peace wash over me. There are so many things to worry about, to stress over, to wonder about... but honestly... in the long run, none of it even matters. God hasn't promised me success, or marriage, or riches, or good fortune, or even happiness; all he's promised me is eternal life, and that is enough! I could go through this life with nothing but my faith, and I would have everything I need. It's amazing how I so often forget that. How I convince myself that it's so important that I make all the right decisions and live in all the right places and be with all the right people. That's not how it works. This is probably the first time in my life that I am really and truly trying to listen to God's voice and allow him to just lead me. I don't want to make the decisions anymore. I don't want to try and figure out every step I'm going to take. Since when was I ever in control anyway? I just sometimes like to think that I am. I have NEVER been in control, and I never will be, and as soon as I learn that and live that I will feel that peace that's been promised to me. God is so good, isn't he? Why would I ever live my life in such a way that shows I doubt that? Yet when I worry, that's exactly what I'm doing.

I'm tired of living my life in fear.

Rejoice in the Lord. That's all it takes. Rejoice in every aspect of this life I've been blessed with. If I can find that joy... that pure joy in the Lord, I will have everything I need to make it through this life.

who, what, where?

Wow... so change sometimes comes about pretty quick. It's hard to tell sometimes when the change is good or maybe not so good. I pray that these decisions I've made over the past few weeks are the best ones I could have. As of April 7th, I will be a Floridian again. I'm not sure how the decision came about... but All I know is I had been thinking about ways to feel more useful here.. to feel busy again (busy in a way other than working all the time). And somehow the idea to move home came up.. and then it was decided. It was all so fast.. still is. If you had asked me three weeks ago, I probably would have said I would never live in Florida again. Funny how things change so quickly. I really miss my family and I think it's about time I spent some real time with them. There isn't much keeping me here except my job. I can't even participate in my old ministries because I have to work full time just to be able to live here. It sort of defeats the purpose. Anyway... it's hard though, because I've really grown to love the people here, especially the ones I work with. It will be hard to say good-bye to my residents, I just feel like it's time to move on. So back home I go for a while. I'll probably get some school out of the way until I figure out for sure what I want to do in life. There really are so many options and I think I need to let God lead me rather than trying to figure it all out. I think the best place for me to do that is home with my family, where I belong (for now, anyway). I'm actually really excited about the thought of being home for a while, considering I had it set in my mind that I would never live at home again. It's all so overwhelming, and I know it will be tough, but I don't plan on falling back and being lazy. I need to stay active and continue seeking ways to serve anywhere I go. I know God will bless this decision.

Anyway... that's the scoop on my life at the moment. Crazy, I know.